Dear Brinkley,
We are in the process of finding our new forever house. I took a job in New Orleans, LA so that we could be near the coast. We can talk more about all that later, but I just wanted to get some thoughts out about how to find the perfect place. There is a house that we all love....but I don't think we need to get it. It's a difficult process to balance all the things that would be best for our family.
I can just see myself cooking in that kitchen, looking over in the living room while you and your Daddy play cars or color.
I can just see myself sitting on that incredibly peaceful back porch, looking over the big yard to the bayou, while you throw the frisbee to Cooper or ride your jeep.
I can just see myself playing with you in the yard, driving the RZR around and making mud puddles.
I can just see myself, on a bad day, still feeling at peace and at home in that secluded area, while you ride your bike down the quiet street.
But it's not all about where I see us now, or even the next few years. I have to see further. And that's the part that's so hard.
I can just see you, a little bigger, wanting me to play when I don't have the energy.
I can just see you, a little older, not having a sibling because cancer stole that from us.
I can just see you, a little further in the future, while I'm sick, having to play alone because there aren't any other kids out there.
It kills me to think about that future, when I can't be your number one playmate. But I have to consider it all and realize that what may seem like the perfect place now won't always be.
I will ALWAYS see you, though. I will ALWAYS love you. And I will do my best to ALWAYS be here for you, as long as I possibly can. We don't know for sure what the future holds, but know that my love for you will never lessen.
Love,
Momma
We are in the process of finding our new forever house. I took a job in New Orleans, LA so that we could be near the coast. We can talk more about all that later, but I just wanted to get some thoughts out about how to find the perfect place. There is a house that we all love....but I don't think we need to get it. It's a difficult process to balance all the things that would be best for our family.
I can just see myself cooking in that kitchen, looking over in the living room while you and your Daddy play cars or color.
I can just see myself sitting on that incredibly peaceful back porch, looking over the big yard to the bayou, while you throw the frisbee to Cooper or ride your jeep.
I can just see myself playing with you in the yard, driving the RZR around and making mud puddles.
I can just see myself, on a bad day, still feeling at peace and at home in that secluded area, while you ride your bike down the quiet street.
But it's not all about where I see us now, or even the next few years. I have to see further. And that's the part that's so hard.
I can just see you, a little bigger, wanting me to play when I don't have the energy.
I can just see you, a little older, not having a sibling because cancer stole that from us.
I can just see you, a little further in the future, while I'm sick, having to play alone because there aren't any other kids out there.
It kills me to think about that future, when I can't be your number one playmate. But I have to consider it all and realize that what may seem like the perfect place now won't always be.
I will ALWAYS see you, though. I will ALWAYS love you. And I will do my best to ALWAYS be here for you, as long as I possibly can. We don't know for sure what the future holds, but know that my love for you will never lessen.
Love,
Momma
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ReplyDeleteLiterally just cried! Brinkley, your mom loves you so much and so do we! Jennifer is one amazing, strong woman. You have a wonderful family that will be supportive throughout life. Caldwell's take care of each other; it's in our genes :)
ReplyDeleteWe all LOVE you, Jennifer!!!
Love you more. Hold it!
DeleteThis is such a moving gift to share with us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hate how FB shifts crap and I miss out on some of the most awesome people I have not yet met. That part sucks. I wear your shirt frequently. Some how, some way, it has become one of my fav T's. My daughter wears hers so often too. You made your way somewhere into our little creveces and I hope you like it warm mama ;)
ReplyDeleteLove you. <3
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